After a long, boring and smelly
flight they finally arrived at the
circus. Everyone was in a bad mood with everyone else for some
reason. So when they got out of the helicopter and were
immediately told, by a mysterious voice, to 'stick their hands up
and not say a word', they all started arguing loudly.
Tim:- "Why should I?"
Tom:- "Why shouldn't you? It's the only thing you are good at:
Being on the other side of a gun. I don't want to work with you
any more. Ever again."
Sally:- "I feel sick. Do you have any handkerchiefs Jesper?"
Jesper:- "What do you think I am? A walking department store?"
Sally:- "Well! I only asked, you moron."
Tom:- "Tim's a bigger moron."
Darren's owner:- "Oh God! We are late. You must be one of the most
unorganized, irresponsible bunch of idiots I've met. Hey, Darren
where are you going?"
Darren:- "To buy some fairy-floss."
Darren's owner:- "Well you can't. You know you don't perform well
on a full stomach."
Darren:- "Excuse me for breathing! You may be my owner, but you
are certainly not good-looking."
Sally:- "What has that to do with anything Darren? They say it's a
stupid mind that has to resort to insult."
Tim:- "Yeah."
Jesper:- "Tim, you don't even know what the word 'mind' means."
Tim:- "Do so."
Jesper:- "Do not."
Tim:- "Do so."
Clementine (mooing):- "You are all so immature."
Clara:- "Just look who's talking. It's Ms Sophisticated."
Clementine:- "At least I know the difference between a knife and a
fork. You eat like a barbarian."
Clara:- "I'm a camel for heaven's sake. Why would I want to know
the difference between a knife and a fork?"
Clementine:- "Even if you wanted to know, you're too dumb to
understand."
Clara:- "Am not."
Clementine:- "Are so."
Clara:- "Am not."
Sally:- "Oh, dear. I am sorry Jesper. I just vomited over your
shoulder."
Jesper:- "Great, you filthy pig."
Sally:- "It's not my fault. I did ask you for a handkerchief, and
in case your silly little mind has forgotten: I am pregnant."
Jesper:- "Just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you have to
vomit over my shoulder."
Sally:- "Next time I'll vomit over your head."
Tim:- "Vomit over Tom's head. It will help his appearance."
Darren's owner:- "All of you want to make me vomit. Do you realize
that for every minute I'm late I lose $2.17."
Darren:- "Money money money. That's all you ever think about."
Darren's owner:- "Do not."
Tim:- "I do."
"SILENCE!!"
Sally:- "Who was that?"
Jesper:- "Not me."
Darren's owner:- "I wished I'd said that.
That must be one of the most intelligent words I've heard lately."
Tim:- "It wasn't me because I was saying something else at the same
time as that person said "silence"."
Tom:- "It could have been me."
Tim:- "No it couldn't because you don't know any two syllable words."
Darren:- "By the way, why are we walking with our hands in the
air?"
Jesper:- "Dunno.
I just thought we were practicing for an acrobatic
part in tonight's performance. Come on, jump on my hands Darren."
Darren leapt into the air with keen ability and not only
landed on Jesper's arms but on his entire body. In the process
they also managed to squash the owner of the mysterious voice.
Darren clambered off the two people, and to everyone's surprise
there were two Jespers. A little voice spoke in Sal's head:
"Stand up the real Jesper." And they both stood up.
"Who's the real Jesper?", she asked getting more frightened.
"I am", they both answered simultaneously.
Sally, who, unlike most of the others, had an IQ that exceeded a
half eaten turkey-sandwich's, realized the gravity of the
situation. One of the persons who claimed to be Jesper, was
without any doubt Jesper's homicidal brother. If the imposter
wasn't unveiled at once, all their lives would be in danger.
So, she came forward with a secure and springy gait and said:
"Don't you false Jesper think you can fool me. I know two sure
ways to find out who's who."
She walked forward to one of the twins, (we can call him Jesper 1
or J1 for short to save some printing ink) and asked
superciliously:
"What have we done today?"
J1 looked a bit insecure and answered:
"I don't remember. I think I got an concussion, which gave me
amnesia, when I smashed my head into my evil twin brother's."
"Ha! Nice try.", said Sally even more superciliously, and turned
to the other brother J2. (We call him so because it wouldn't be
fair to call one of them J1 and the other Jesper, because the
readers would get more sympathy for the one called Jesper and not
observe the plot with objectivity, and that wouldn't be fair to
poor J1) She looked into his eyes and said with her smoothest
voice:
"Please, tell me what we have done today so we'll get this thing
cleared up."
J2 looked very insecure and answered:
"I don't remember. I also think I got amnesia when I smashed my
head against my evil twin brother's hard head."
The two brothers begun, due to the severe concussions, to look a
bit green in their face. They lent against each others shoulders
and vomited. Darren's owner looked more and more stressed:
"That didn't help us! What's the other sure
way to find out who's who."
Sally looked to the ground and whispered:
"I accidentally happened to be sick on the real
Jesper's shoulder.
So the one with vomit on his shoulder is the genuine Jesper..."
Tim smiled and said:
"Look! They are both the genuine Jesper!"