Time past and Jesper understood that the things they left behind
delayed the killers. They had just started to hope that the
killers should leave them alone, when they heard footsteps outside
the cave. They heard a violent voice saying:
"Come out! We are 10 very evil-looking
people who would like to ask you a question."
Jesper took a wild chance and answered:
"It's ten past four!"
"That's not the answer to my question." The voice sounded even
more violent:
"Come out your wag!!!!"
Jesper looked out of the cave and said:
"Yes??"
Killer-Abdul looked at Jesper and said:
"What's a Blurp?"
"How many guesses do I have?", Jesper said with the familiar
facial expression of a temporary genius on the edge of going nuts
again.
"Three, and by the way, you will be killed if you are right or
wrong."
Jesper turned to his group for a bit of moral support however
none was forthcoming. The situation at this precise moment in the
cave was that Darren had fainted (again!), and had fallen on the
top of Clara and Clementine. The two kidnapers, who were always
quick to seize an opportunity (something that Tim's mother was
always very proud of), had decided that this was a perfect
opportunity for a quiet game of poker. Sal was somewhere
beneath the impressive collective bulk of Darren, Clara and
Clementine. For the 4th time in his young life Jesper knew that
now was a time of great pith and moment (not that he actually
understood what pith meant, but he had once read it in a
geographical magazine and from that time, 12 years ago, he had,
always been intending on thinking it, if not actually saying it).
He looked Killer-Abdul directly in the eye, squared his shoulders
(which was admittedly a heroic effort as one of Clara's knees
was sticking into his shoulder-blades), and said in a deep voice,
which reminded Tim, who had briefly looked up with a frown at the
interruption, of a cow, he had once, waiting to be given its daily
snack of hay.
"You are a Blurp to your own disgusting and foul desires. As you
must know, I am half right which means one of two things:
You can either kill half of my faithful group, or you can kill
half of each of us. Which is it to be Killer-Abdul?"
Killer-Abdul looked confused. He couldn't decide if he was in the
presence of a genius or an idiot.
"Gee," he said, "I need a drink quick."
Jesper grabbed a bottle of something which looked like the
Extra terrestrial dynamite, and that just
happened to be next to him and said:
"Take a svug of this," which Killer-Abdul did.
Then, who should appear but Darren's owner who had followed them in
his private Lear-jet:
"Darren, come quickly. They want you at the circus and this time
they have promised you a pay-rise. Bring the camels, and the girl
with the big nose. Also, you can come too Jesper, and all your
friends. I've got lots of front row tickets!"
Sally didn't pay him any attention, and said with a frown:
"Jesper, what did you give Abdul to drink?"
Jesper giggled and said:
"The Extra Terrestrial drink."
"Are there two bottles of it?"
"No."
"But since these men were asking for the meaning of Blurp, they
obviously just had drunken the E.T. drink that we must have left
behind. In that case? What did you give Abdul?"
Jesper looked like a question mark and all signs of his temporary
geniality now seemed lost in the desert. Darren woke up and said
something that made the whole situation crystal-clear:
"I need to pee again. Have anybody seen my chamber-pot?"
Abdul, who had swallow a huge gulp said:
"Interesting beer. A pity it's warm. What sort is it?"
"What sort? Well, we call it D.D-special.", Sally said looking a
bit insecure.
In Abdul's stomach was now a mixture of the E.T-drink and
Dragon-Pee. Anyone with any basic skill in
chemistry knows what happens if you mix those two components:
Incredible amount of gas is created. A gigantic belch and an even
bigger fart made Abdul flew hundreds of yards up in the air
accompanied by the fading sound of a thundering fart.
"Wow!", Darren's owner said,
"I've never seen anything like that! I promise I could get him a
contract at the circus."
He was silent for a minute and then he added:
"It's only two small problems: What shall we call this act and
how do we get rid of the smell?"
Jesper didn't have to answer either
question which was actually a lucky break since
his IQ right now was record low.
Sally answered instead:
"Those two questions aren't important. What is more important is
some news Clara, Clementine and I have. We are pregnant."
"Pregnant?", whispered Jesper, who knew what the word meant so he
could whisper it with some authority. Unlike the two kidnapers
who just looked confused and thought it had something to do with
politics.
"But who are the fathers?"
"Well", Sally said, "Clara says, well actually she just mooed but
I could get her message, anyway she claimes it's Tim,
(Tim grinned coyly presuming that they were discussing how good a
Prime Minister he could be), Clementine, who was even easier to
interpret, insist it's Darren, and as for me, well
Jesper don't tell me that you have forgotten that moonlit night we
spent together in Fuji!?"
"Me a father! Why, if it's a boy we'll call him Jesper Junior
and if it's a girl, we'll name her Jesperina."
"Excuse me folks", interrupted Darren's owner, a bit hurt that
no one was paying him any attention, "but we do have a
dead-line to meet, so perhaps you'd all like to discuss nappies
and baby-food on the way to the circus."
Jesper, who had been looking perturbed and worried suddenly smiled.
He piped up:
"Hang on a sec. Sal, you've got it all wrong. I've never been to
Fuji, but my evil twin-brother has, in fact he used to live there.
Actually, he probably does still live there. Did you know that he
was voted the most evil man on earth?"
Sal looked at Jesper. The expression on her face showed surprise,
had a touch of disbelieving, and a tiny bit of fear.
"Noo. Really!!???"
"When we were born he tried to strangle me with his navel-string.
On our first birthday he tried to suffocate me with our
birthday cake. At the age of three he shot our father, and then
he robbed our mother of the money she got from poor daddy's will.
He then hijacked an airplane and flew to Fuji. He started, the now
well known, Fuji-Mob. At the age of four he was on CIA's 'Ten
Most Wanted'-list. Then he started to be really mean. He....."
Sally interrupted him:
"But he is still your brother. He must have some good sides?"
"Those were his good sides."
Darren's owner, who started to be really pissed off, said:
"Let's go to the helicopter!"
So, they said good bye to Abdul's brothers, who just stood dumb
with admiration over Jesper's brother, and climbed on board the
helicopter. A well known sound, followed by a well known smell
followed by an excusing moo from Clara, revealed that her "pregnancy"
was just a case of eating to much beans. So, in other words you
can say that the air went out of Tim's recently puffed up Prime
Minister plans.