Sally made some tea.
She poured the tea in two cups and gave it to the aliens.
"Here are the teacups, I guess you have saucers yourself, hahaha."
One of the little green men turned to the other and said:
"Ork urk bork hork sorp dorpididorp........ and so on...."
(Translation: Come, let's get our little green bodies away from
this place. I can't stand this lousy attempt of humor for
another minute. Let's go to Pluto, I'll bet it's more fun there.)
The little green man understood English but he couldn't speak it
because his mouth was shaped like a vacuum cleaner. They went away.
Jesper looked like he actually was thinking. After ten minutes
he said:
"Hahahaha. Saucers! You meant that they had flying saucers!"
Sally looked at him, shook her head, and then ran to the door
and yelled:
"WAIT FOR ME!"
Jesper felt depressed. No one ever seemed to take him seriously
-- except for the mouse. He couldn't understand how a mouse could
change into a human. It must have been magic. Sally walked in
through the door.
"Did they leave without you Sal?"
"No, I decided to stay since they didn't have a social security system
on the planet Bleep. But they were nice enough to leave us some
of their Special Diet Home Brew Drink. Let's have some."
Sally and Jesper drank, and the most incredible thing happened.
"Jesper!", Sally screamed, "My nose is growing.... so is yours...
I think we are turning into elephants."
"Don't be silly Sal. Can't you tell the difference between a
dinosaur and an elephant? You look like a Wooly Mammoth!"
Jesper then started to cry:
"Poor me, poor me, I don't want to have a trunk."
"It's as bad for me."
"No, A trunk is not such a big difference for you.
Furthermore I suddenly feel so afraid of mice."
Just as Sally was going to give her nasty reply the phone rang,
and since Sally knew what kind of telephone answerer Jesper was she
answered the phone, and then gave it to Jesper.
"Jesper it's for you. It's from your job. They wonder where you
are today."
Jesper was in the phone for a few minutes and then he turned to
Sally and said:
"Incredible, I've never had a better reason for missing work
than today, but when I told him what I've done today he just
laughed."
"What do you do for a living?"
"Well, you know I'm not an Einstein exactly and I'm not reliable
so there is not so many different jobs I could get. Promise not to
laugh."
"I promise."
"I'm the Prime Minister."
Sally took no notice of Jesper and started to walk about
the room impatiently. She kept on
tripping over her long trunk which made her bad-tempered. She
yelled:
"We must get rid of these trunks! A plan of action is
needed. Any ideas?"
"It's a pity we didn't grow tusks as well because we could have
chopped them off and sold them to Enterprising Africans."
"Shut up Jesper. I think your brain has moved from your feet to
your ugly trunk."
"What's wrong with my trunk! At least it hasn't got as many
wrinkles as yours."
"Well, mine's a nicer shade of gray."
As they were arguing, they failed to notice that they both were
starting to grow giraffe necks, pig's bodies and curly poodle
tails. Sally was the first to notice what had happened to them:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!"
But Jesper was as cool as a cucumber a winter day in Antarctic:
"Look at it from the bright side, hardly anyone will notice your
wrinkled trunk now. It goes nice with the rest of your body."
Sal didn't pay him any attention and started to talk to herself:
"Don't panic now Sal. Think!" Sal banged her head against the
wall for a minute or so and then she suddenly stopped:
"Yes, of course! Grandma's recipe for all diseases."
"What's that?"
"Just an ordinary omelet with one of the following ingredients:
A Bat-wing, a pint of dragon blood, a gasp-tongue or...."
Sal looked at Jesper's behind and smiled:
"A Poodle-tail!"
Jesper saw a chance to save his behind and said:
"You wouldn't believe it but I know someone who has a dragon."
Sally took the news well. She said:
"Very well. Take me to where the dragon lives."
Even Sally realized that sometimes it was not worth questioning
things. They caught the bus. Jesper was fined $40.00 because he
tried to cheat
by not buying a ticket. Sal was in a bad mood
because her tail was sore from being sat on for too long.
When they arrived they knocked at the door, and a man answered:
"Yes?"
"We need a pint of your dragon's blood, if you don't mind."
"Why should I mind? You've got to ask Darren the Dragon. I wish
you luck because Darren is depressed at the moment."
"Why?" Sal and Jesper asked worriedly.
"Because he is desperately in love with Denise Dragon, but Denise
doesn't like him. Darren has locked himself in the bedroom and is
starving himself."
As they where walking to the bedroom Sally said to Jesper:
"If you go into the dragon, do you think you can get the
ingredient for the omelet?"
"Yes! How many eggs do you want me to borrow?"
"If you haven't seen the connection: Dragon --- Dragon blood,
I'd better go into him."
Jesper smiled to himself and thanked God, and his parents, for his
low IQ.
After picking the lock Sally went, on shaking pig legs, into
the dragon. Exactly 1.3 seconds later she came running out
terrified, but smiling.
"I've got it! I've got it! I've got the ingredient for the omelett!"
"The dragon blood or the eggs?"
"Neither, but this."
Sally held up her poodle tail in her left hand and added:
"The dragon bit it off as soon as I backed into the room."
Jesper looked relieved and said:
"I must admit I'm quite happy I didn't walk in there.....
Forwards!"
Suddenly two men, wearing masks and
carrying guns, burst into the room.
"Put your hands in the air...., and your trunks", yelled one of
them. The other said:
"We have come to kidnap the dragon. Dragons these days are
fetching high prices in the desert. They are better than camels
because they drink less water and they can do card tricks."
"That's right", said Darren's owner. "He has this great trick
where he says 'pick a card', and I pick one, and then he says
'watch my hand very carefully', and then he....."
"Don't tell me any more", said one of the kidnapers, "I want him
to show me the rest."
Jesper slowly understood that something was wrong:
"But we need Darren too", he argued, "If you take him, you have
to take us as well."
Before Sal could tell Jesper to stick his trunk up his...., the
kidnaper said:
"Okay, we will kidnap you two as well, and sell you along with
the Dragon. Do you know any card tricks?"