After the 'ceremony' was finished Roberta
followed Jesper to the tent where Darren and Olivia
slept. The reason why the they still slept was that they had spent the
main part of the night doing the assignments that Jesper had given
them yesterday. Assignments that had sawing and hypnotising as the two
main ingredients. When Jesper and Roberta entered the tent, they woke
up the strange looking witch and the huge green dragon. Roberta showed
the reaction that any normal being would have shown. In other words;
she became terrified. Jesper, who had noticed that Roberta was afraid,
said:
"Come closer to me."
When Roberta was pressed against Jesper, he put down his right hand
down Roberta's pants, and moved the 'C'-wheel towards maximum courage.
Olivia stared at Roberta and Jesper and screamed hysterically:
"Jesper! What is your hand doing down this ladies panties!!??"
"I was just trying to make her to be in good spirits. You see Roberta
is my...", Jesper begun to explain.
"Don't tell me anymore, pig!"
Olivia started to hyper ventilate, as her body shook with jealousy and
anger. Roberta, now filled with courage, broke in:
"You got it all wrong. You see Jesper own me. He..."
"..is your pimp?", Olivia filled in and continued, "This is just
getting worse and worse."
"No, listen hysterically jealous woman. I am a robot. Look what
happens if I move this stick!", Roberta said and did so.
Robert(a)'s hair suddenly started to disappear into her/his head, and
stuff from her/his hip region moved up to her/his shoulders, as
her/his chest begun to flatten and bristles appeared on her/his
chin.
After standing silent, unable to produce a single word for two
minutes, Olivia ran to Jesper and threw herself in his arms:
"Darling! Will you ever forgive me for doubting you?"
Jesper started to be bothered by all Olivia's acts of emotions
directed towards him, and he hoped that they would be less frequent in
the future. As an attempt to actively contribute to such development,
he responded surly:
"No!"
Oliva looked at Jesper, pinched his cheek, and said:
"You are so cute when you pretend to be hurt, my little puppy."
Darren that up to now had been left out of the conversation, said
proudly:
"Look! I have been a good dragon. I have filled these two barrows with
dragon pee!"
Jesper, who had totally forgotten that he had told Darren to fix some
'rocket fuel', responded surprised:
"Oh, very.... impressive!"
"And the other five barrows are filled with the
'Special Diet Home Brew Drink'.", Oliva said looking even prouder.
"Very nice of you to... warn me if I should get thirsty.", Jesper said
praisingly. He said it extra praisingly since both Darren and Oliva
seemed to plead to be praised.
"By the way. How much rocket fuel do we need?", Olivia asked looking
at Jesper.
"Are you asking me???", Jesper said, "I how don't even know how
to.... I better not complete that sentence since it could be the
longest sentence I ever will say. "
"I might be able to help you if you turn my 'I'--wheel or if you give
me permission to do so myself, master Jesper.", Robert said.
Since Jesper didn't reply immediately, Oliva answered instead:
"Yes, turn the wheel yourself. I don't like it when Jesper do it.."
"I only take orders from my master!", Robert said resolutely, and
looked at Jesper.
"You only take orders from me?", Jesper said and continued,"Well, turn
the wheel and go Einsteinic."
While Robert begun to turn the wheel Olivia said to Jesper:
"Have you solved the problem we have with Darren?"
"Is there any specific problem you mean? I mean besides....
I better not complete that sentence either."
"I mean the transport problem. Darren is too big to fit in the
space-craft, and I don't think that he manage to fly all the way back
home himself."
Jesper, who hadn't forgotten about the biker haunt where Jesper was
Darren's bait, said:
"Why don't we just leave him. Here he can eat his oval purpur fruits,
and play soccer with the barbers. He belongs here. The Earth is no
good place for a dragon. Here he would be happy. This is almost dragon
paradise."
After Jesper had finished he had almost convinced himself that it was
best for Darren, and not just for himself, if Darren stayed, but Oliva
said:
"You, sly dog! You don't even believe that yourself, do you?"
At that time Robert had gained all the intelligence possible to gain,
and he said:
"About the question concerning the rocket fuel: Three barrows of
'Special Diet Home Brew Drink', and two of dragon pee, would not just
get you to earth, but enable you to take a route so you get there
without getting fried. However, if we bring the dragon, we need five
barrows of the 'Special Diet Home Brew Drink' and three and a third of
dragon pee. To bring the dragon we must just..."
"We are not interested.", Jesper interrupted.
"Yes, we are! How is it possible to bring Darren?"
"Sorry! But I don't say things that my master doesn't want me to say.",
Robert ended the conversation.
Oliva therefor turned to Jesper and said:
"Please, tell him to tell us! Please! Please! Please!"
One hour later Jesper started to realize that Olivia's ability to nag
was consummate. Furthermore, his own resisting-power was finite. So, he
said:
"All right! All right! I do anything to make you stop
nagging."
"Anything?", Oliva said with a shrewd smile.
"Don't push your luck Olivia. Robert, tell how we should do to bring
Darren."
"Well, as you said; Darren is too big to fit in the space-craft.
However, his head is not. So, if he put his head through the air lock
gate, and we make an airtight tightening between Darren's neck and the
lock gate, and put a huge net around the rest of his body, both he and
we might just survive a trip to Earth.
However, we need a very high quality cement or putty for the
tightening."
"You said that we might just survive. Do you really think that it is
possible?", Olivia asked worriedly.
"Yes I do!"
"What exactly is the position of your 'O'-wheel?", Jesper asked
curiously.
"Rather close to maximum optimism. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I just thought that it should be interesting if you turned the
wheel to minimum. Do so, and then answer Olivia's question again."
So, since Robert always obeyed his master, he turned the 'O'-wheel
anti-clockwise until it wasn't possible to turn it anymore. It then
took a while for Robert to adjust to being an extremely pessimistic
robot. When he was done adjusting he replied:
"If it is possible to survive?? You must be joking! A fire-man without
water and with a mission to extinguish the sun would have better odds.
Even if we don't bring the dragon, we would probably not make it.
We would be killed in a collision with a spy satellite, a meteorite
or an UFO. And if we, by some really unrealistic miracle, shouldn't
collide with something, a navigation error that should bring us to the
center of the sun is likely to occur. But, I suppose we don't get
that far. The space-craft probably will explode as soon as the engine
is turned on, unless we are not killed by a stroke of lightning before
that. The space-craft is a damn lightning-conductor. But on the other
hand, some accident will maybe kill us on the walk to the space-craft
long before that."
"You see! He don't think it is safe to bring Darren.", Jesper said
to Olivia with triumph in his voice.
"He would consider washing his hands without a life-west as a
potential cause for drowning."
"Don't always rely on the life-west.", Robert added.
"OK, so he is bit over cautious. But remember that he is still smart,
and that we should listen to him."
"Why don't you tell him to move his 'O'-wheel to the middle. In that
case we might get an objective answer.", Olivia suggested.
"I don't know. It would be nice to be on the safe side for a change..."
"Please! Plea..."
"All right! All right! All right! I tell him.
Robert, turn you 'O'-wheel to the center
position. And, while you are poking about in your pants, move your
stick so we get some female beauty here in the tent."
For the first time in history of Universe, a creature (Olivia) manage
to produce a gaze so intense, focused and evil, that a small brand
actually ate its way into the cheek of another creature (Jesper).
"Ouch!", Jesper screamed, looked at Olivia and realized that his last
sentence might have annoyed her a bit. So, to rescue the situation he
said:
"I think that the helium in the air, besides changing the sound of
all my words, actually stole a 'more' from me.
Because the sentence in its original, unchanged state, actually ended:
'...so we get some more female beauty here in the tent.'"
Olivia looked suspicious at Jesper. She didn't believe a word he said,
but decided to forgive him anyway.