After Jesper had finished his phone-call, and the aliens finished
their visit to the toilet, they all returned to the table and paid
for their meals. The restaurant owner was so surprised that
the men had come back to
pay, that he forgot to call the police and call off the police haunt.
After making sure that the aliens were fit enough to travel, they all
agree to go bat-haunting in the cave.
On the way to the cave the three men ran into a huge crowd, that
were listening
to a politician. Jesper, curious as ever, asked one of the
audience:
"Who is this man that attract attention from all these people."
"It's a new very popular president candidate called I.P. Rivers."
"I.P. Rivers! Oh, God! It was that creep that sold me the BETA
video. The only thing he knows, is how to be dishonest!"
However, Jesper decided to stay a while to listen to the man, and
heard:
"Some of my colleagues claim that the worst danger for our
country is the increasing criminality. They say that if we all became
honest everything, especially our national budget would be much
better. This only shows how little brains they have. The worst thing
that could happen to this country is that everybody become honest.
If all persons in Fiji were honest, we would not need any
persons that develop computer security, or security of any kind.
No door would need locks, which means that the all the lock-smiths
loose their jobs.
And at all the shops, or any place where things are sold,
no one is needed to take charges. Everybody who
buy something just leave their money in one bucket,
and take back the change from an other bucket with money.
No crimes are made which means that almost no judges,
lawyers and attorneys are needed.
If, by accident, a crime is committed, no
psychologist is needed to decide if a witness is reliable or
not. The union has noting to do since both the employed, and the
employee demand and offer fair wages.
The banks don't have to check all the people they loan money to, they
just ask them. So, the people who check people is no longer needed.
Hardly any policemen is needed, or any guards.
At the church hardly anyone
to confess sins to is needed, since there would be much less
sins committed.
No intentional fires and no false alarms,
would give the fire department
much less to do, and they would need less employed.
Not to talk about the insurance business.
The need for burglar insurances vanishes.
The number of injured people
would also decrease, (less assault, armed robbery etc.)
giving less to do for the hospitals.
More than half of all the employed today, would have no work.
Imagine that, more that 50 % unemployment.
This would ruin our country.
No, I say, what ever you do, don't be honest! We can't afford it!
I'm for dishonesty. If you are too, vote for me!"
Jesper felt that the aliens might use severe violence if he stayed
any longer and listen to the amazing I.P. Rivers.
However, before he left he just had to ask one of the audience,
the one he talked to
recently, one thing:
"How is he doing? Do you think that he will be the new president of
Fiji?"
"Oh, no! Even if many people say to him
that they going to vote for him,
and finance him, they almost never do that. The people that support
his ideas are not to be trusted. "
Jesper took a sigh of relief and hurried away towards the
cave.
They walked for a few kilometers, and ended up outside the cave.
Since the light from the sun doesn't prefer to travel through long
crocked tunnels, Beetjoo realized that a torch could be useful.
Tjoobee, who had been a boy scout, made one, using the stick under the
sign outside the cave saying 'What ever you do.
Do not enter here.', and
a banner in fabric saying:
'Number of people that have entered the cave: 1995
Number of people that have came back from the cave: 1
Number of sane people that have came back from the cave: 0'
and wired it around the stick.
After that he put fire on the fabric, and
then the three men walked into the hole in the mountain.
The cave tunnels reminded strongly of a
complicated maze. Half an hour, and many tunnel forks, later,
they reached a huge cavern. All three men noticed that a strange
smell and strange sounds came from the big hole in the mountain.
However, they didn't notice that 20 meters above them 19999 eyes
were watching them.
The eyes were attached on 10000
bat-heads
. The leader bat squeaked out
something, that after a Fiji-Batish---English
translation would become:
"Let's scare the shit out of the intruders!
An extra ration mosquitoes to the one that flies closest to them."
Then all bats, except a few lazy ones,
flew down towards the intruders. The bats made scary noises as they
in high speed flew inches away from the three men. Jesper fainted,
but the aliens seem not to be bothered, specially not Beetjoo. However,
Tjoobee's pulse actually increased from
43 beats per minute to almost 43.5 when the bats attack him. Beetjoo
turned to his friend and said:
"I think it is time to show them who they are messing with."
Tjoobee smiled an evil smile and nodded. Then he and Beetjoo filled
their
lungs with the cold moisten air. At the same time Jesper
begun to recover, and noticed dizzily that the two aliens opened their
mouth like they were screaming.
What Jesper didn't know, was that
sounds worse than nail against a blackboard, and louder
than a mountain drill, came out of the throats of the aliens.
The reason why Jesper didn't hear the horrible sound was that the
frequency of the sound was 50000 Hz, a frequency above what a
human (or alien) can hear. However, in the cavern was 10000 bats, who
could hear the noise. The noise made the bats fly around in panic.
In a desperate attempt to avoid the sound, many of the bats put
their wings in their big sensitive ears.
However, without the flapping wings the
gravitational force on the bats becomes obvious.
It started to rain 'cats and dogs' of bats, as hundreds of
bats fell down to the ground.
Jesper and Tjoobee removed the wings from the unconscious bats.
Soon they had more than enough wings for the rest of the year.
Then they started to think about getting out of the cave.
As they stood there arguing, each one pointing in completely different
directions, they started to hear voices.
The voices came closer, and Jesper's eyes nearly popped when he
saw who came; Silly Sam and a dozen more
'Bald morons with eight fingers'.
Jesper stammered out:
"S-S-S-Sam?? What are you doing here??"
"Well, this seem to be the only place were the police don't follow us.
You know, ever since we landed the police been after us, calling us
bill evaders.
You should have been at the airport when we (22 bald morons)
passed the customs.
The personnel almost had a collective heart-attack."
The other bald morons sat down doing their favorite occupation;
telling each other about how the lost their fingers.
Jesper and the aliens walked away to find a way out.
One hour later, when
Crazy Bill just told what happened when he gave an
alligator the finger at Zoo,
the aliens and Jesper returned with sad facial expressions.
No one of them, not even Jesper with his pigeon brain,
could find the way out of the cave.
What no one in the cave at that time knew was that something
that three different observers, independent of each other,
identified as an UFO, was heading towards Fiji. All three UFO
reports talked about a strange looking huge green thing with a hump on
top. However, none of them saw that the strange flying
vehicle landed just outside a cave just outside Fiji. After landing
Oliva begun to step down from Darren's back.
The story behind the long flight
to Fiji begun when Olivia a few hours earlier, after
talking to Jesper on the phone, had started to feel an irresistible
desire to meet her darling. At the same time,
Darren, who yesterday had eaten the meal of
his life, had started to get hungry again. He also wanted
to meet Jesper, or 'the bait' as he preferred to call him. During the
coffee break a few minutes later Olivia and Darren had a chat, and
both confessed to each other how much they missed Jesper.
The strong desires of the witch and the dragon to
meet Jesper, combined with Olivia's physic ability to find Jesper and
Darren's flying ability, had then resulted in an amazing
flight to the cave.
During this short flash-back Oliva had climbed all the way down from
Darren. Now she were inspecting the cave.
After looking at it for a few seconds she said:
"Wait her Darren. Jesper is inside the cave. I'll go and fetch him."
Olivia realized that the cave might be complicated, and that it might
be difficult for her to find her way back. She then remembered a
famous fairy-tail, where two
small children threw stuff behind themselves to find their way back
home.
Olivia, who had a box of 'Bon-Bons' with her, a sort of candy
that she didn't like, though she could use them to find her way back
out. However, when Olivia walked into the cave and threw a candy
behind her, Darren, who had been told to wait outside, noticed that.
He really knew that he should leave the candy, he really
should do that...
At least he should not eat all of them, but maybe one of
them or two... Yes, he doubtlessly deserved that after the long
flight! Even
if Darren noticed that the diameter of the cave was almost equal to the
diameter of himself he entered the cave. He then walked 31.4
meters into the cave before he got stuck. The second Bon-Bon was
then just 5 meters in front of him. With a heroic effort he managed to
squeeze deeper into the cave, even though the diameter of the cave got
even smaller. However, when he reached the candy,
he realized that he now was
really stuck, and that he could not move an inch.