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A healty morning exercise

Jesper woke up, and with eyes smaller than a sleepy Chinese, he noticed that his digital watch displayed 07.15. The surprise of finding that time had entered the eight hour of the day, without Theresa destroying his sleep made his eyes turn into circular objects. However, the strong sunshine in the room made Jesper's eyes go back to half-closed. He saw his mother, asleep in front of the bathroom door and with her right hand as a fist leaning against the door. Jesper walked to the bathroom door, and unlocked it from outside with one of his nails. Then he carefully opened it, so carefully that he didn't wake up his mother. He walked in, and noticed that he had no toothbrush. He also noticed that he was fully dressed:
"Well, after wearing my night clothes a whole day, the day before yesterday, I now have compensated that with sleeping in my ordinary clothes. But, now I don't need to get dressed, I'm already dressed! I'm already dressed for breakfast!"
He waked out of the bathroom all excited over not having to get dressed or having to brush his teeth. When leaving the bathroom, he slammed the door into Theresa's head. She woke up and Jesper said:
"Now I'm done. You are free to use the bathroom"
Then he walked out of the hotel room, haunting for the free breakfast that were included in the hotel room fee. However, when Jesper had come to the end of the corridor, he stopped and realized that he had forgotten why he was walking away from the hotel room. After a few minutes of thinking he concluded that it was probably to get away from his mother. So, he walked out of the hotel and just outside the hotel entrance he noticed that all the persons around the swimming-pool seemed to be upset. When a very suntanned man noticed Jesper he pointed at him and said:
"There is the reason why the pool is almost empty, so we can't take our morning dip. He splashed out the water yesterday!"
Then four men, upset by the empty pool and with a genetic inherent to be violent, approached Jesper with evil grins. At that precise moment Jesper understood what his physician had meant when he had told Jesper that a morning run could be good for his health. So, Jesper ran, ran like he never had ran before. The four men with the evil grins also decided to take a morning run, and followed Jesper. A fantastic coincidence, that proved to be very lucky for Jesper, was that all the five running men had the same ratio between waist size and IQ. Furthermore, all men except Jesper had an IQ, above average. So, in less that two blocks the four very fat men, had to stop and gasp for air, while Jesper ran another ten blocks before he dared to look around only to find that no one was chasing him. He slowed down and realized that he just had saved the money a bus trip to the utter of Suva would had cost. As he stood there, glad over the saved money, he noticed that the ground begun to vibrate. Fearing an earthquake he turned around and noticed the vibration was caused by the two impressing figures of Tjoobee and Beetjoo who approached. When Beetjoo saw Jesper he yelled:
"Jesper! You are alive??!!"
"I think so...", Jesper responded insecurely, like he was afraid that there was something that he wasn't aware of.
"Good! Jesper, my friend, we are planning to leave, and go back home to Bleep. After all that happened yesterday, we have realized that we are not yet mentally prepared to stay on earth. So, now we have phoned home, and some bleeplings are coming to get us."
"You phone home!? You phoned a planet in another solar system?? But how...?"
"How, could a message that can not travel faster than the speed of light reach our home planet in less than a day, when the closest solar system is many light-years away, you mean?", Beetjoo completed Jespers question.
Jesper, had meant to ask how the aliens knew the inter planetary access code. Was it in the phone-book, or what? However, Jesper thought that Beetjoo's question was much better so Jesper nodded, pretending that he had meant to ask Beetjoo's intelligent question. Beetjoo continued:
"The answer is: This is of course absolutely impossible! I'm amazed that all humans, including an intelligent man like you Jesper, believe that aliens must come from another solar system. Do you really think that anyone is willing to travel hundreds of years to see your simple little planet, and then hundreds of years back home to tell about it. I certainly wouldn't do that! We come from the planet Bleep, in this solar system!"
Even though Jesper didn't know the name of all the planets in the solar system, he was pretty convinced that no one was called Bleep. So, he said:
"It is not the first of April today!"
The aliens looked extremely puzzled after Jesper's last comment, even if it indeed was a correct one. It wasn't the first of April today! However, Beetjoo decided to ignore Jesper's comment, and continued:
"You have probably already figured out where Bleep is. Bleep has exactly the same distance to the sun as the earth has. The only difference is that Bleep is half an orbit after the earth."
"Before!", Tjoobee corrected.
"Yeah, well, this means that Bleep is always behind the sun, and impossible to see from the earth. Actually, it wasn't until about 2000 years ago that we become aware of the existence of the earth. This was after we had learned how to use the solar wind to bend light. A few years later we tried to contact the earth to see if there were any intelligent life there. We sent a strong light, that must have looked like a really huge star for you. But, no one responded. The strangest thing about all this is that your calendar seem to start exactly the day we sent our light."
"Strange.", Jesper said and continued:
"Have your visit to the earth been a success. What was your mission on earth?"
"Our mission was to locate and bring home the most intelligent creature on earth."
"Have you found what you were looking for?"
"Yes we have!", Tjoobee and Beetjoo said in chorus, looking at each other and blinking with one eye. As they stood there a flying saucer came down from the sky.
"Follow us into the spacecraft intelligent creature.", Beetjoo said to Jesper.
"Me intelligent? Oh, you flatter me...", Jesper said turning red.
Jesper was very curious how a flying saucer looked like from the inside. Now he had the chance to take a short look before the aliens left. After the flying saucer had landed a door opened, and a rather primitive wooden ladder, that seemed strong enough to carry an elephant, came out of the door. Beetjoo, Tjoobee and Jesper climbed onboard.


next up previous
Next: The freezer close Up: No Title Previous: Entering the Dragon



Patrik &
Thu Feb 26 10:10:12 MET 1998